The hours immediately following the loss of a loved one can feel overwhelming and confusing. This guide will help you navigate the essential tasks and decisions that need your attention during this difficult time. Remember to take care of yourself and accept help from others when offered.
Hours 1-24: Essential Tasks
Notify Immediate Family and Close Friends
Create a notification plan:
- Begin with closest family members
- Make a list of people to contact
- Consider asking family members to help notify others
- Be prepared for questions about funeral arrangements
Contact a Funeral Home
When selecting a funeral home:
- Ask family if there were pre-arrangements
- Request pricing information from 2-3 funeral homes
- Schedule an appointment with your chosen provider
- Have another family member accompany you if possible
Begin Gathering Important Documents
You’ll need several documents for various purposes:
- Death certificates (request 10-15 copies)
- Social Security card
- Birth certificate
- Marriage certificate (if applicable)
- Military discharge papers (DD-214) if applicable
- Insurance policies
- Bank account information
- Vehicle titles
- Property deeds
Secure the Deceased’s Property
Take steps to protect their home and belongings:
- Lock their residence
- Forward mail if necessary
- Care for any pets
- Remove perishable food
- Collect any valuables for safekeeping
Hours 24-48: Next Steps
Meet with the Funeral Director
Be prepared to make several decisions:
- Burial or cremation
- Casket or urn selection
- Service preferences
- Obituary content
- Music and readings
- Flower preferences
- Memorial card design
Begin End-of-Life Notifications
Contact essential organizations:
- Social Security Administration
- Life insurance companies
- Employer or former employer
- Banks and credit unions
- Credit card companies
- Pension providers
- Veterans Affairs (if applicable)
Plan Immediate Financial Needs
Address urgent financial matters:
- Locate funds for funeral expenses
- Identify and pause automatic payments
- Contact deceased’s employer about final paycheck
- Begin gathering bills that need attention
Start Funeral or Memorial Planning
Consider service details:
- Date and location
- Religious or secular preferences
- Officiant selection
- Eulogy speakers
- Photo displays
- Guest book
- Reception details
Key Things to Remember
Accept Help
During this time:
- Delegate tasks to willing family members
- Keep a list of offers to help
- Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance
- Allow others to provide meals or run errands
Take Care of Yourself
Essential self-care during this time:
- Try to eat regular meals
- Stay hydrated
- Rest when possible
- Accept emotional support
- Take breaks when needed
Important Don’ts
Avoid these common mistakes:
- Don’t make major financial decisions
- Don’t immediately cancel utilities
- Don’t delete phone numbers or email accounts
- Don’t rush to clean out belongings
- Don’t feel pressured to make immediate decisions about possessions
Looking Ahead: The Next Few Days
Start thinking about but don’t feel pressured to immediately address:
- Long-term financial planning
- Estate administration
- Thank you notes for sympathy cards
- Returning to work arrangements
- Long-term care for pets
- Distribution of personal belongings
Helpful Resources and Contacts
Emergency Contacts
- Emergency Services: 911
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
- Poison Control Center: 1-800-222-1222
Government Resources
- Social Security Administration: 1-800-772-1213
- Veterans Affairs: 1-800-827-1000
- Internal Revenue Service: For tax-related matters
Support Services
- National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization: Find local grief support
- GriefShare: Locate grief support groups
- Compassionate Friends: Support for those who have lost a child
Legal and Financial Resources
- American Bar Association: Legal resource finder
- National Association of Insurance Commissioners: Insurance guidance
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: Financial protection information
Remember that this guide is a general overview, and your specific situation may require different or additional steps. Don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance for complex situations or when you feel overwhelmed.
Note: Laws and requirements vary by state and country. Consult with local authorities or professionals for specific requirements in your area.